How to be a Hotwife

There are many women out there who are gorgeous, sexy, attractive, charming, and smokey hot. Simply the dream woman any man would like to spend a night or a week. You would love that, wouldn’t you? 

However, there is a problem. She is taken. She is married and happy. 

Her husband can be a good friend of yours or just a tough guy. He would cause you trouble. 

Or, maybe he won’t. 

He, perhaps, is aware of his wife’s attractiveness, and his hot wife is desired by many men. Moreover, he has the desire of seeing his wife experience her sexuality with other men freely. This makes the wife, “hotwife”

Continue reading to understand “Hotwifing” better…

What is Hotwifing?

According to Urban Dictionary, a Hotwife is defined as “Comes from the Lifestyle term HOTWIFE. A woman who is a hotwife is a woman whose husband likes to share her sexually with other men or likes to watch her have sex with other men and the wife enjoys pleasing her husband this way. This is different from CUCKOLDING wherein the husband is not a SUB. HOTWIFING does not involve humiliation of any of the participants.”

In a most simple way to define, a hotwife is a woman who is happily married, who is happy with her husband in their bedroom but also who enjoys her sexual freedom with other men.

Hotwifing and cheating are completely different concepts. In hotwifing arrangements, the husband is aware of his wife’s other affairs and he is supportive about it. 

It is quite opposite of the common lifestyle of monogamous relationships and marriage practices. In a monogamous relationship, no one allows another person’s presence in the relationship; sexually or emotionally. 

The only common part of hotwifing and monogamous relationships is, emotions are not a part of the relationship with the wife and the “bull”. 

What “Hotwife” is not…

As it was mentioned before, both husband and wife are aware of the situation. The wife is allowed to sleep with other men and can discover new fantasies and her boundaries. In many cases, the couple chooses the bull together. He can be from the work environment, dating platforms such as Seeking Arrangement (I had seen profiles created for notifying purposes), Swinger, and/or Hotwife forums. So, simply it has nothing to do with cheating.

Hotwifing is also different from cuckolding. In cuckolding relationships, man is mostly on the sub side and the wife decides with whom to sleep and doesn’t necessarily need the husband’s approval. On the other hand, in hotwifing husband has the power over the couple’s sexual life. He has the power to refuse who can or can’t have sex with his wife. 

The husband of hotwife is willingly sharing his wife and showing how attractive and hot his wife is. Also, the wife enjoys being shared and this actual kink becomes a sexual satisfaction and fantasy. 

Hotwife Lifestyle

Getting into a new lifestyle and having a hotwife experience may not be easy as thought at the beginning. It is not about the wife going out to hang out with random guys, have sex with them and all is fine. 

Clear communication is essential. Both sides should clarify expectations and set the boundaries. Hotwifing is a type of relationship.

The desire of the Husband

The husband should completely comfortable with his wife having sex ith other men. In a matter of fact, it is the husband who encourages the wife to be hotwife. However, he should be sure if it is good as a fantasy or will it still be tempting when it becomes a reality. 

When a fantasy turns into reality, jealousy can destroy man and the relationship will be ruined. 

Wife’s wish

No matter what the husband wants, if the wife is not interested in multiple men, then hotwifing kink shouldn’t be an optional lifestyle. 

One of the concerns women worry about is if her husband offered hotwifing because he wants to sleep with others too. This is not the main kink of hotwifing. 

If both parties of the relationship want to sleep with others, then it becomes an “Open Relationship”

Sleeping with other men is the fantasy of some women. Some of them making it real is not a good way, cheating. The idea of other men is very arousing for some women and hotwifing is an opportunity for them to make their desires come true. 

One advantage of hotwifing for his wife is the new experiences and fetishes she is tasting. What her husband is not into but she fantasies about, she can fulfill her desire with the new bull.

Setting up your new lifestyle

Deciding on a new type of relationship is difficult especially if a new person is being involved in the relationship. Hotwifing is full of intimacy and a gateway to fulfilling the fantasies and desires of both husband and wife.

However, there are hidden dangers. 

As it was mentioned above, jealousy can be a problem over time. The couple should be confident about the situation. Especially the presence of a new bull can make the husband feel uncomfortable. 

The couple should remember that their relationship comes first. If any of the partners are uncomfortable with the kink, then they should stop it. Any situation or person that is putting the relationship in danger should be avoided as the relationship comes before the fantasy. 

Choosing a bull is another subject. He can be one of your swinger friends, a co-worker of one of your partners, or, someone from a well-known dating community such as Fetlife or Seeking Arrangement. 

Some Hotwifing sample rules to set

  • Is the wife allowed to spend the night with her sex partner somewhere else or she should be at home together only with her husband
  • Where will the sex happen? Is “your” bedroom your sex temple or is she allowed to take the bull to your bed?
  • Agreeing to say everything happened during a hookup
  • Actions that are or are not allowed. For example; kissing, anal sex, unprotected sex, or no rules at all a wife enjoys all the way how she likes.
  • If the wife may involve in 3ways, which husband is out of the game. 


The hotwifing culture is a trending kink, especially in swinging communities. It is not for many men who prefer a monogamous relationship. Especially men who were cheated in their past relationships will not participate in this kind of experience. 

On the other hand, there are some relationships that hotwifing saved. For example, if the wife is sexually very active and her husband is not active as much as she is, maybe totally he can’t, the satisfaction of the hotwife can save the marriage. This is where there is love between the couple and where the husband wants to see his wife happy and satisfied.

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